


Maybe It's Real (Or Maybe I'm Just Paranoid)

by kawaiipose



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bisexual Andrew, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Andrew, M/M, Realisation, fanfiception, garrett being his cute lil self, is there even a plot to this, morgan is kind of only mentioned, same with ryland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 01:30:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20986580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiipose/pseuds/kawaiipose
Summary: A really self-indulgent plot, where Andrew is a secret Harry Potter fan that reads fan fictions and decides to search himself up. he's completely shocked when he sees the entire thing is filled with fan fictions of him and Garrett.And maybe just maybe, he reads some.or - andrew is kinda gay for garrett and then he reads some fan fics and realises he's like... REALLY gay for garrett.





	Maybe It's Real (Or Maybe I'm Just Paranoid)

Andrew Siwicki will never (_never_) admit to Garrett Watts that he has, in fact, read multiple Harry Potter books. In fact, Andrew’s kind of a _fan_. He may or may not (read: he _definitely _does) have a Pottermore account that sorted him into Ravenclaw and gave him a bat Patronus, which he was pretty pleased with. And, on top of all of this, on late Friday afternoons when he wasn’t editing or filming for Shane or doing some crazy activity or adventure with Garrett, he opens his laptop and reads Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley fanfictions. Honestly, they’re really good, and the romance factor is actually way higher than the book series itself, which suits his lonely, single, 27-year-old self _just _fine. Nothing sad about it.

After two weeks of reading fan fiction after fanfiction – some may call it an obsession, Andrew fondly names it a new ‘hobby’ – a thought strikes him suddenly and he wonders if there’s fan fictions about his friends. There’d _definitely _be loads about Ryland and Shane, seeing as they were the only ones in the squad _actually _dating someone. He’d be willing to bet there were a handful about him and Morgan – he wasn’t blind to the never-ending comments underneath his Instagram posts. It kind of made both of them uncomfortable, but in the end it was all a big joke. Sometimes they’d link arms and sing duets when a comment popped up. he knew Morgan was sweet and pretty and all, but Morgan was only just old enough to _drink, _which made Andrew feel simultaneously like her older brother and an old man.

Curious and strangely excited, he typed his name into the search bar in the top right corner. The page loaded after a couple of seconds and –

_Andrew Siwicki One-Shots _was the first fic to pop up. Andrew, now an expert fanfic reader, immediately skimmed through the tags and hit his first snag in the road.

_Andrew Siwicki/Garret Watts._

That, to Andrew, was strange. He’d anticipated Morgan, and maybe the odd fic of Shane after all of the time they had to spend together editing and filming but _Garrett? _Of course, it made sense, but he was just... shocked? He couldn’t name the feeling in his chest as he scrolled further down.

_You Just Know._

_Tags: Andrew Siwicki/Garret Watts._

_On Fire (Only for You)_

_Tags: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts._

The biggest surprise of the evening was, spectacularly, _not _the _smut _and _friends to lovers _tags, not even the _anal sex _or _buttplug _tags. The biggest surprise was that the only Morgan fan fiction he could find was 5 pages later into his tag. The search he got was not what he was he expecting, and he couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Honestly, he didn’t mind, which was weird. Usually, he _felt_ weird when someone brought up how close he and Garrett were, how much closer they seemed to be _becoming, _implying more than friendship. But right now he couldn’t feel the usual feeling that tightened his chest before. He was kind of open to the idea.

He was kind of... curious?

One fan fiction on page 5 of his search caught his eye.

_I Don’t Wanna Be Sad No More_

_Tags: Andre Siwicki/Garrett Watts, Friends to Lovers, Comfort fic, Boys in love, Boys kissing, Getting Together_

_Andrew finds Garrett in bed. For the fourth day in a row. It’s time to intervene. And, you know, confess._

Andrew clicked on the title and began to read. He, as always, found himself stuck in by the time he reached the third sentence. But this wasn’t the same as the Harry Potter ones, because _he _was the subject of the story. He was the one unlocking the door to Garrett’s house with his spare key and finding him on the bed, unmoving. _He’s _the one that brings him an extra blanket and scoots in beside him. And he’s the one that holds Garrett as he cries into Andrew’s shirt. He’s the one that kisses Garrett’s forehead, then his cheek, and finally his lips.

Andrew looks up from his computer screen then and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Something about the words wouldn’t leave him alone. Maybe it was the nagging reminder that he _did _have a spare key to Garrett’s new house, a nagging reminder that even though it’s late Friday night, if Andrew drove over to Garrett’s and unlocked the door, maybe he would find Garrett, alone and unmoving in his bed. Maybe he’d have to hold Garrett while he cried. Maybe he’d kiss his friend’s forehead, then his cheek and finally, his lips, that were probably really soft and-

Andrew slammed his laptop shut and vowed to never read another fan fiction about him and Garrett _again._

The self-made oath is forgotten when the next lonely Friday evening rolls around. Instead of snuggling into his blankets and escaping to the world of Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger and their _scandalous _love triangle, Andrew was once again scrolling through his own tag. He finds a fic about him and Garrett on a holiday in France, and he reads it, blushes, and bookmarks it (and yes, he’s not stupid, he’s created a completely random username so nobody _ever _finds out about his new ‘hobby’). Then he’s clicking on one where he and Garrett meet in a blood-thirsty battle, Garrett a vampire, Andrew a vampire slayer. Somewhere along the plot, Andrew falls for Garrett, and Andrew finds he doesn’t care that the sudden change of character makes no sense because he can _see _himself meeting Garrett, a literal bloodthirsty vampire, and falling in love with him anyway.

That thought brings his brain to a complete stop. _Wait._

_Fucking, what?!_

He slams his laptop shut, which was quickly becoming a reoccurring activity.

The next Friday, Andrew’s halfway through reading another fic when Garrett calls him. Andrew, naturally, panics. Because _how the fuck did Garrett find out? Who told him? How did the person who told him find out?! _He realises too late he’s been so busy freaking out he had sent Garrett to voice mail. A second later, a text from Garret pops up:

_Hey Andrewwwww_

_Answer ur phone already!! I want to watch movies w uuuuu_

And underneath is a gif of a crying cat. _Of course. _Before he can contain his face, a fond little smile is blossoming and he’s staring at the screen like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever _seen._

These dumb fan fictions are actually turning his brain to mush.

He texts back:

_Stop whining hahahahaha_

_I’m coming... can I pick?_

Maybe it’s not a great idea to go see Garrett after he’s now read _multiple _fan fictions of fake realities where they meet, fall in love, make out, and more often than not have mind-blowing sex.

Before he can consider backing out, Garrett’s replied:

_Sure, whatever, hurry up so we can hang outtttt_

Andrew sends a laughing emoji back and scrambles to put on fresh clothes before going out to his car. He felt nervous, but that was ridiculous. Sure, he’d spent hours on end reading fanfictions about himself and his _best friend, _but that didn’t mean anything... right?

Andrew was always sure he was straight. Before meeting Garrett and his friends, Andrew had led a pretty non-gay life, as in all of his friends were straight, everything about everyone was so heterosexual and the idea of homosexuality wasn’t exactly on his mind. So when Garrett, an openly, _very _gay man, entered his life and became his best friend, things started to blur. Like, sure, he liked cuddling with girls and girls only, but something about Garrett made him want to curl into his side and lay there for _hours. _And that feeling of comfort and warmth that he only ever associated with girlfriends was suddenly associated with a totally platonic _friend, _who was a _guy, _and Andrew realised that his perception of the line between friends and something more just completely blurred when Garrett was around.

He tried to deny it, or at least forget about it, which had worked for ages. But now he had read all of those stupid fan fictions his mind wouldn’t stop entertaining the thought of _something _happening between the two of them. _Especially _when half of the fics pointed out all of the moments Garrett openly adored Andrew like he was the love of his life or the times Andrew got jealous over Jeffree and Garrett ‘flirting.’

At the time, Andrew only thought of it that he was tired, and Jeffree was irritating. But deep down he knew that wasn’t the case. He actually really liked Jeffree, and he was barely tired, the adrenaline of filming pumping through him. He thought everyone would’ve missed the fact that Andrew hadn’t laughed throughout the whole skit. He assumed everyone would skim over it, but according to those fics, nobody had. _Everyone noticed._

Andrew then realised that he was only minutes away from Garrett’s. his brain must have been on autopilot on the way here because he barely remembered the drive, too stuck in his own brain. He takes the last couple of turns and then he’s at Garrett’s place. He jumps out and doesn’t bother knocking, slotting his key into the lock and letting himself in.

“Garrett?” he called.

And there he was, all scruffy beard, piercing blue eyes, dorky Harry Potter glasses. Andrew couldn’t suppress his smile.

“Andrew!” Garrett’s kind of half squealing-half shouting and Andrew realises the mixture actually kinda works for him. “I feel like I haven’t seen your face in years.”

“Clingy,” Andrew jokes, his eyes fond. “Hope you’re ready for the worst 127 minutes of your life.”

Garrett looks a little scared as he follows Andrew through to the TV.

Andrew usually has spectacular taste in movies. He knows which movies present the best actors, the best storylines, the best _everything. _But he doesn’t want stunned silence from Garrett tonight. He wants laughter and petty criticism and _what the frick Andrew!_ So that’s why, with an evil grin, Andrew picks _Jupiter Ascending._

Garrett groaned loudly at the plotline, and Andrew couldn’t even _try _to smother his giggles. The whole movie all they did was poke fun at it, laughing at each other’s jokes and drinking a whole 6-pack of beer between themselves. By the end of the movie, Andrew can – or can he? He honestly doesn’t remember – say he’s definitively wasted. He’s kind of a lightweight. He scooted closer to Garrett on the couch and rested his head on his shoulder. Garrett tensed, then relaxed after a moment.

“Garrett?” Andrew mumbled.

“Uh, yeah?” Garrett replied

Andrew paused. What was he asking again? He let out a shrill laugh before looking up at Garrett to find him already staring.

“I forgot, but it was important,” he giggled again, and Garrett smiled down at him, laughing himself.

Andrew kind of loves his face.

“Oh, uh, thanks, Andrew,” Garrett’s blushing, and Andrew’s confused. Did he say it out loud?

“Yeah you did,” Garrett’s fully laughing now, head thrown back. This is bad, Andrew can’t control his thoughts anymore. And apparently, he can’t control his mouth either.

“Sorry,” Andrew says, but they both know from his tone of voice he doesn’t mean it at all. Garrett just giggles down at Andrew.

“It’s okay,” Garrett smiles. And it’s kind of, really cute. Like, it melts his heart and it makes a blush rush to his cheeks and Andrew _loves _that smile. And the person who wears it.

Andrew doesn’t wait to see if he’s said it out loud. He’s pressing his lips into Garrett’s. it’s quick, chaste and kind of everything Andrew dreamt of. He didn’t know when exactly he had started wanting this, but he’s been wanting it _so bad _lately and now he has it and. Well, holy shit basically.

And then, he promptly passes out.

They don’t talk for one week and four days.

Andrew wakes up the next morning and Garrett’s house is dark and he’s on the couch with a blanket and a pillow. For a moment, he wonders where he is, why his neck hurts, why his _head _is so sore, but then he remembers the movie and the beers and.

And the kiss.

He grabs his jacket, opens the door, and runs.

To his car, he justifies. But he knows, deep down, he’s running from Garrett.

From the truth.

Later in the week he contemplates texting Garrett. He’s sitting in Shane’s editing room, exhausted and ready to shove his head through a wall. He kind of needs Garrett right now. He needs Garrett to sweep him away on some ‘crazy’ adventure that usually ends up just being a day of hanging out. Andrew craves it. Craves the simplicity of it. He misses when things were simple.

Andrew didn’t end up texting Garrett. Shane comes in on the 5th day of Andrew ‘editing’ – so far all he’s done is sulk at the wall – and forces him out of the room and into the kitchen. There, they sit and eat Oreos, Shane sneaking worried glances at Andrew.

“Uhm, Andrew?” Shane starts.

“Yeah?”

Shane takes a deep breath, then he kind of sets his jaw. He’s in ‘help’ mode. That’s never a particularly good thing for Andrew.

“Did you and Garrett have a fight? I went to invite him over and he didn’t even respond for an entire _hour, _and when he did it was no, _with a full stop! _Plus all you’ve done for literally 5 days is stare at a wall! What happened?”

Andrew sighs guiltily. He was so worried Garrett would be mad, scared that their friendship would be over, that he hadn’t stopped to be rational about how Garrett would _really _react. Of course Garrett would sulk in bed and not text back for an hour. Andrew is an idiot.

He realises Shane is still waiting for an answer. Well, might as well be honest.

“We didn’t fight, I... I kissed him.”

“_You _kissed _him_?”

Andrew nodded, staring down at his Oreo.

“But why? Out of the two of you, _you’re _the straight one! None of this is making sense.”

Andrew looks up then with a sense of courage. “Maybe I’m not as straight as I thought I was. It’s just something about him is right... for me. In every way. Maybe I’m bi? Or maybe it’s just Garrett in general, but I’m worried I just fucked everything up.”

Shane gives him a sympathetic smile. “Andrew, I know it’s hard to make sense of things. But I promise you, Garrett isn’t gonna be mad. I mean, he’s been pining after you this _entire _time. I know I edited the video when you met Megan but he wouldn’t shut up about you the _whole time. _Like, non-stop. He wants something with you too. Maybe, instead of running from your problems, it’s better to just face them?”

Andrew nods and smiles at Shane. “Thank you. For... everything.”

Shane pulls him into a hug and Andrew feels a lot better.

“You don’t have to thank me. Go get ‘em, tiger!”

They laugh, and then Andrew’s grabbing his keys.

** _10:25 - Andrew_ ** _: I’m coming over_

** _10:27 - Garrett_ ** _: why_

** _10:27 - Andrew_ ** _: because I have to_

** _10:27 - Andrew_ ** _: and I’m really sorry_

** _10:27 - Garrett is typing..._ **

** _10:29 - Andrew: _ ** _please say something, I really am sorry_

** _10:29 - Garrett is typing..._ **

** _10:32 - Garret_ ** _: yeah okay_

Garrett’s never been mad at Andrew. Not when Andrew stepped on his Wi-Fi chord and accidentally snapped it. Not when Andrew spilt beer all over his carpet. Not when Andrew introduced Garrett to another guy as his “gay best friend” (although Garrett was pretty standoffish for weeks). He’s probably not even mad at Andrew now, even though he really has fucked up, because Garrett is an actual cinnamon roll who treats Andrew like he’s the most precious guy in the world.

So it does sting a tiny bit when Andrew opens the front door to find Garrett on the couch, unmoving. Not acknowledging his existence. For a second Andrew wonders if he’s even _breathing. _Garrett then sighs loudly and Andrew half relaxes, walking over and sitting next to him on the couch.

“Garrett,” he starts.

Dead silence.

“Garrett, c’mon.”

Nothing.

Andrew drops his head into his hands and does his own angry sigh. Things are meant to be _easy, _not like he’s talking to a wall. But he can’t give up now.

“Alright, if you’re not willing to talk then at least just listen, okay? I’m sorry. I know you’re gay but that doesn’t mean you wanted me _specifically _to kiss you, so sorry that I made that assumption. I was kind of really, really drunk. But that doesn’t... it doesn’t mean I didn’t _mean _it, you know? Like, yeah, my mistake because I wasn’t thinking clearly but I was also thinking like, ultra-clearly. Unfiltered I guess. So I’m sorry but I’m not.

And I’m sorry I basically ghosted you and made you feel like shit, and just because I’m freaking out and not really stable sexuality-wise right now, it doesn’t mean I get to shut you out. But at the same time, it made me think, you know? And even though I hated and regret doing it, it was so helpful for me in the weirdest ways. Because the whole time I’ve known you everything just makes _sense_. And I guess I pinned it on friendship but on my end, it’s _not. _Because I don’t think of you how I think of girls, I got confused, but it’s kind of the same? Like you make me feel how I wanted to make... _them _feel? I can’t describe it right but the point is I _meant it _and I _like you _like a _lot _and I’m sorry I did any of this so please don’t ignore me forever!”

Andrew sucks in a breath because _holy fuck _that was such a long speech. He doesn’t dare to look at Garrett.

“Andrew...” Garrett starts, but Andrew doesn’t think about listening.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m sorry this is... shit. Sorry.”

Then Garrett starts to laugh.

It’s kind of a snort at first, then a small giggle, and somewhere along the way it turns into a burst of shrill laughter and Andrew looks over then because, well, rude.

“I just... I just put my heart and s-soul on the line and you’re _laughing? _That’s not, like, the nicest way to reject someone.”

But then Garrett is resting his head on Andrew’s shoulder and he’s patting his knee and he’s _cackling _as if this whole thing is the funniest joke he’s ever heard. And Andrew is already half forgiving him because his head feels like it belongs on his shoulder and his hand feels like it fits _perfectly _on his thigh. Like this is where he’s meant to be.

“I’m sorry, I’m not re-rejecting you,” Garrett’s explaining while he stifles more giggles. “It’s just this _whole time _I’ve been crushing on you like nothing else and turning guys away because I literally couldn’t get over you and you felt the same the _whole time? _Can you imagine what we could’ve been _doing _this whole time! We could’ve been going out to lunch and cuddling on the couch and hanging out together like, every day!”

“We kinda already do that anyway,” Andrew argues, but he’s grinning.

“Yeah but like with _kissing! _Hugs from the back! Actual, like, sexy times!”

“Well, we’ve already ticked one off that list”-

“Andrew?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut... up.”

And then Andrew does a half-laugh and scoots over a bit and Garrett’s looking up at him with his blue eyes slightly glistening from behind his Harry Potter glasses. Then Garrett’s moving and everything’s in slow-mo but really fast too and it’s confusing but addicting. Then Garrett’s eyes are closing and Andrew finds that _huh, _his are too, and they’re kissing. As in their lips are touching, connecting, moving. And he was right because Garrett’s lips _are _soft, and the scratch of his beard against his face is actually kind of really, really nice. And then he bites down on Andrew’s lip and he gasps in that embarrassing, please-fuck-me way and Garrett kind of laughs before his _tongue _is in Andrew’s _mouth _and _holy fucking shit balls we’re really doing this. _And Andrew really, really, _really _likes it (if his little moans weren’t enough of a hint). Garrett seems to like it too, and it spurs Andrew on, almost forces him to grab at Garrett’s shirt and pull him closer, _deeper._

But then Garrett’s pulling away, and their lips go _smack, _and Andrew actually fucking _whines _like a little baby. His face heats up. he hasn’t made noises like that since like, middle school. Fat yikes right there.

“So, uh, was that okay?” Garrett asks, and Andrew looks at him to find his face red, lips swollen, eyes worried. It makes him smile that fond smile he only saves for Garrett.

“Uh, _yeah,_” Andrew replies with a half-laugh.

And for a second Garrett looks like he’s going to kiss him _again, _which frankly, Andrew’s... _body_... can’t handle. But then Garrett’s back to a soft smile and a little laugh and Andrew’s heart is kind of sore at this point.

“Sooo, boyfriends?”

“Is that the next step here? I wouldn’t know,” Andrew replies, and it’s accompanied by a nervous scratch at the back of his neck.

“Only if you want it to be.”

Andrew loves the way Garrett makes everything his decision. There’s no rush, no forcing hand, no nothing. It’s all his decision, his _choice, _and he wants to make the right one.

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope at least sOMe of this fic makes sense, ahaha!!  
kudos and comments/bookmarks help me see if you guys like it or think i should do more fics like this, so don't be shy !! x  
also, all of the titles for the fics in this story are fake as far as i know!! i was kind of just throwing names out there haha, i might make more andrew and garret fics and name it those :p


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